Rungs on the ladder

When Greg told us in November that he didn't plan to return to Columbia College for this 2nd semester, we frankly weren't too surprised. I think he's had a hard time focusing on what aspect of performance he wanted to concentrate on -- this has been an ongoing struggle for him, as he has interests and talents in several directions (what is the saying, ... of all, master of none? I know I'm missing a word here -- what is it?)

In December, I took him to lunch downtown and we talked about setting goals, determining realistic steps toward those goals, and evaluating progress. I finally feel (four months later) like he's getting there. In the past month, he's gotten a job he enjoys, been playing as the lead guitarist in a quasi-established band (they've been playing together for many years, but under different names), and looked at the possibility of taking lessons. He's been contacting artists he admires, at the suggestion of a former guitar teacher, and one of them, Mike Milligan of Mike Milligan and Steam Shovel (www.MikeMilligan.homestead.com), invited him to come to their show at House of Blues last weekend. He and Kevin went. Mike spent most of the first break talking to Greg, then asked him to come on stage to sing and play with them! That was quite a leap of faith -- he didn't know Greg's ability, and it's a good thing Greg doesn't suck at singing or playing! He actually played and sang two songs with them, and Mike even passed along the name and phone number of the HoB booking agent! So there's a big rung on the ladder that Greg is trying to climb. (Kevin videotaped the whole thing on Greg's phone, but we found that it plays sideways, and when he tries to turn it the right way, there's no sound. Or I'd post it for you, but don't want to give you a neck problem.)

I'm climbing rungs on my personal ladder, as well! The website is going well, and we're even getting requests from teachers, shops and programs to be listed! I've got two goals that I really need to work on -- getting advertising and getting more expert-written Clinic columns -- but due to a seasonal job, I just haven't had the time. If you know anyone that you think would be great to write a column, either pass their contact info along to me or ask them to take a look at the site and think about it. I would really appreciate your help.

I'd love to hear about the "rungs" your kids have climbed in their performing lives. Write a guest post! Send me a picture or an mp3 clip! I've posted a new sound clip -- Greg's friend Connor has put together a band at Northern called Bowling Night. Check out this tune -- I think it's terrific!

It Just Doesn't Fit!

This week's Clinic column is the first in a series about finding the right "fit" of a college to your kid. Like in any other program, not just performing arts, the feel, look, and other intangibles come into play when your child is looking at colleges. When Greg and I looked at colleges, first for jazz and then for musical theatre, there were times when we agreed -- both that this one was a good fit and this one wasn't -- and when we disagreed. It took me some tongue-biting, but I had to really work at reminding myself that this was his life and his choice.

The ones we really agreed on that would be good fits -- DePaul and Western Michigan, primarily -- felt good for different reasons. DePaul had the allure of the big city, something that both of us are drawn to (is it genetic?), the teacher that Greg really respected, the prestige of the program. Western Michigan just felt good -- they had exciting classes and trips, the enthusiasm of the professors and students was real and contagious. And when we found schools that were not good fits, it was obvious pretty quickly. The students we met didn't exude friendliness or professionalism. The professors were either unavailable for questions or dismissive. Neither of those contacts (or lack of) left us with a good feeling.

I have one more child to go through the college-search process with. While we won't be looking for a performing arts school, I think the things I learned with Greg will really help me with Andy -- despite the fact that he'll be looking for things that are probably polar opposites than items that were on Greg's checklist. But I think I can help him feel those intangibles and not just look at the numbers, the classes, the buildings or the distance from home.

Practice, Practice, Practice!

There's a new Clinic column over on the website -- Terry Guynes, band director at Lundahl Middle School, passed along an article he had written on practice tips. While it specifically addresses tips for instrumentalists (he is a BAND director, after all), there's no reason that most of those tips couldn't be applied to dancers, actors, singers -- even athletes! Practice with a friend. Pick a goal -- being able to do something specific better than you could before. Learn timing, breathing, intonation. Practice with a pro -- maybe on a video, or on a CD. Lots of good suggestions! Check it out!

Greg had Mr. Guynes as a band teacher in 7th and 8th grade, both for regular band and jazz. Terry is fun to watch as he conducts -- he practically dances on stage, and his enthusiasm for teaching is obvious. When Greg was in 5th grade, playing clarinet (at the time, you couldn't start on sax, you had to start on clarinet and switch before middle school) and hating it, but loving music, I had quite a dilemma -- he didn't practice, didn't want to play clarinet, but he really wanted me to spend more money to rent a saxophone so he could switch. Given what I saw, though, would it be worth it? Or should I just tell him that, too bad, you didn't show me that you were committed to doing this, so no sax?

I ran into Terry while he was at the elementary school testing the incoming 5th graders for instrument selection. I told him what was going on, and his reply really made an impact on me -- he said that he'd rather have a kid in band who loved music and didn't practice, than a kid whose parents forced him to practice and stay in band even though the kid had no interest. Knowing Greg fell in the first category, he got his sax, stayed in band -- and his love of music grew from there. Once in a while, I think about what would have happened had I insisted he drop band -- he hadn't really started playing guitar at that point -- would he have? Would music be so vitally important to him now? I don't know. (Would he be going into a more stable and lucrative profession right now? I don't know that either.) I think I made the right choice.

Several years later, talking with a friend whose high school son wanted to drop band, I told her about this short conversation with Terry. Her son had some ability, but really hated being in band. She was insisting that he stay and develop his talent, a move that I really felt was a mistake. Every parent makes their own decisions, I realize, but it was hard for me to see that student forced to continue doing something he didn't enjoy (when it comes to math or science or English classes, obviously it's a different situation).

So, Terry, thank you -- for today's column and for that short piece of advice that had a big impact on Greg's music career!

Growing Pains

I've been percolating the Performer's Parent idea for a couple of years. I discussed it with a few friends, who encouraged me to get it going, and when I finally did, I thought, "Oh good, now I can sit back for a little bit..." Nope. With the exit of my friend Sheri, who got the website up and running, I had a panicky few moments and then thought, I can do this! So I found a new way to manage the website, and I'm pretty pleased with it -- I invite you to check out the "relaunch" of Performer'sParent.com! I'm playing with some of the things that go on the site, so please -- take a look and give me your thoughts.

We went to see The Drowsy Chaperone at Crystal Lake South last weekend -- as always, the South students did a FABULOUS job. I've seen several of these students in quite a few shows, and it's great to see how they've grown as singers, dancers and actors! It'll be exciting to find out where they're planning to go from here -- I know that several of them are planning to make performing a part of their college experience, whether it's as a major and career, or as a very important extracurricular activity.

I wanted to try something new in this blog today -- here's a track from The Con Men, one of the very first that they ever did (and honestly, one of my faves), called Walking Away. This was written maybe four years ago, and performed originally just by Greg and his friend Connor Bernhard. 03 Walking Away

Sorry about all the random stuff today. I'm trying to figure out a bunch of things both here and on the new website. Soon, I hope to have a way for you to "join" Performers Parent, which will help me find out if the content I'm providing is on track for your needs or if it needs to be tweaked in some way. I'm working on getting some great columnists to write the Clinic column. I'm still playing with the formats of both sites. And, I have a cold. So please excuse the scattershot approach today!

And one last thing -- if you have something you'd like to share as a guest blogger, send it to me! I'd love to post an experience you had with your performing child, a moment that made you smile or worry, or anything else you'd like to talk about. This blog isn't just for me -- it would be great to have you make it your own, as well.

Nothing is Ever Easy...

With the help of a community of friends and family, the website, performersparent.com, is just about ready to debut! It's been up and available, in a rough format, for a couple of  weeks. I've been learning so much as I go through this process! Mostly, I've been learning  how much I'm leaning on people who know a lot more than I do.

Starting this coming weekend, I've put ads in a couple of local high schools' musical performance programs, introducing the website to (what I hope will be large groups of) parents who could use this service. I made a new logo, taught myself the beginnings of HTML, panicked more than a little, hoped for bad weather at O'Hare (not really, Sheri -- I hope you had a great time on your cruise!), wondered why my brother had to move THIS weekend...

And I want to give a BIG thank you to Kyle, who stepped in at next-to-the-last-minute with a welcome offer of help. (And to Andy as well -- he offered his time and assistance,  but I was already working with Kyle -- the hour's difference between here and the Eastern Time Zone was helpful).

I really hope that the website will save some other parents a few steps. Check the site out after Wednesday, and let me know what you think! This is definitely a work in progress -- I know there are lots more colleges out there that I haven't gotten to yet, many more summer programs, and lots of great teachers I haven't yet included.

In other news... Greg is now the lead guitarist for an established McHenry County band, EKG. We're looking forward to hearing them soon! And we've discovered a great medical practice for vocalists, The Bastien Group in Downers Grove, which will get on the website soon.


The Drowsy Chaperone, Crystal Lake South's musical, opens this Thursday (hence the panic and time crunch) and runs this weekend and next -- go see it! South's musicals have always been first-rate, and I expect that this one will be too. I'm hoping to go see a couple of the other District 155 musicals (Pirates of Penzance at PR, March 2-10; Urinetown at Central, March 9-17, Anything Goes at Central, March 16-18).

I think I'll let my carpal tunnel rest for a while... hope to hear from you!

Music -- It's not just "one more thing"

I'm sure a lot of you have kids who are involved in many activities -- many that are not performance-oriented -- and you sometimes think, "I just can't do one more thing." And then Junior wants to learn another instrument, audition for a show, join choir... But music isn't "just one more thing" to shoehorn into an already-busy schedule! And I know you know that. But it can be hard to keep sight of that in an over-busy life -- your child's, your family's, and your own personal life!

School Band and Orchestra magazine, which goes out to teachers, published an open letter to parents last year about the value of musical instruction. The letter, which you can see at http://www.sbomagazine.com/8190/featured/sbo-guest-editorial-an-open-letter-to-parents/#comment-3321, makes several good arguments about music's importance in a child's life. Better test scores, leadership training, learning to work cooperatively -- and having fun! -- are some of the benefits. I know we've seen this in our family for Greg, and hope that Andy reaps some of these benefits as he starts his first musical activity.

Every time Greg tells me he's decided to take up another instrument -- and another, and another -- I roll my eyes (tenor sax, guitar, bass, clarinet, bass clarinet, flute, harmonica, keyboard, and the latest is drums). But I know that it keeps him fresh and interested, gives him a better understanding of music theory, opens up doors to new performance opportunities (he hasn't had any formal piano training, but plays well enough to be asked to play piano for an improv company; he played sax, guitar and clarinet in a musical's pit band over the summer); and widens his repertoire. 

Read the letter! You may learn something about the value of musical instruction that you didn't already know. And maybe it will help you to support your child when they want to add "one more thing."

Supporting your young performers -- it's more than just you!

I'm a cheerleader, a financier, a chauffeur, a teacher, an audience... I'm the parent of performers. You are too, all of those, I'm sure! And I'm happy to do it. I enjoy the results, I love hearing the singing around the house, I even (and don't tell Greg) sort of get a kick out of the drums.

And I sincerely appreciate the other supporters my performers -- and yours -- have. The teachers they have had have all been terrific, encouraging people (Ben, Kristina, Matt, Chris - hope you're all reading this!). I'm grateful for the opportunities they've provided to all of the kids in their programs, from setting up extra concert opportunities, planning Broadway in Chicago nights, finding outside experts to do workshops and clinics.

This weekend is one of those excellent opportunities -- it's Theatre Fest, held yearly, for Illinois drama students, and this year it's at Illinois State University. High school drama students from around Illinois will have the chance to see performances by other high school students, attend workshops, and have the opportunity to audition for college program reps. The big news for our high school this year is that our wonderful director, Ben Stoner, was selected to direct the All-State show (Almost, Maine), which features the talents of outstanding students from all over the state. I wish we all had the chance to see this! (And I want pictures from Theatre Fest!)

So, you parent cheerleaders, give a cheer to the teachers and coaches that also work with your performer. While we, as parents, are (hopefully, because I know there are kids out there who don't have parental support) the first and best supporters, our kids have a better chance of success and enjoyment if they have lots of excellent support outside of the home as well. Thank you to all of them!