Practice Optimism!

Practice optimism. Be aware of pessimism. Ignore reality when it leans toward the negative.

I don't know why this popped into my head today, but I feel that it's quite appropriate. You may know that life isn't easy in the Performer's Parent household lately, with Dad out of a job. But optimism is forefront -- he feels good about prospects for building his business. I had a job interview earlier this week (I don't want the job, as it turns out, but it was a positive event). Andy got a very nice part in the school show, after he got rid of the pessimistic, passive-aggressive stance he had held toward auditioning in the past (I won't get it, and if it matters to me I'll be hurt when I don't get it, so I'm not going to care about it, and not going to put time into preparing for it).

And Greg's optimism for his new band, Last Train Out, is paying off -- he sent out music demos to several venues and booking agents this week, and has one gig lined up (Thursday, Sept. 27 at 9 pm, at the Elbo Room in Chicago, come out and listen!) with two more big venues offering spots to the band.

Performance is an optimistic career. You can't go into an audition with a pessimistic attitude -- see Andy's former thinking above -- and expect success. You have to have a positive attitude, confidence in your skills, and a belief that others will see your talent when you show it off. No matter what the goal is -- anything from a part in the school play to superstardom -- if you don't believe in yourself, nobody else will either. You have to believe beyond yourself -- you must be convinced that your talent will create a response in your audience (and hopefully, that response isn't EWWWW!, unless that's what you want; and if that's what you're going for, I'm sure there's an audience, but please don't send me an invitation, I have enough EWWWW doing the laundry and looking in the refrigerator).

And now I'm going to actively practice optimism -- I'm hoping you will help me! If you have a child who has expressed an interest in performance as a career, how did you react? Do you support your child? What are your hopes and fears for their future, and how have you expressed both to your child? I'd like to put something together for the website on support performing aspirations, and would like your input. You can send me an email at performersparent@sbcglobal.net. Thanks in advance!

If we were talking about an athletic field...

How much support will a community give to a new facility? If it's a new athletic field, I bet there would be lots of grass-roots support, parent fundraisers, etc. But a group in West Dundee has been experiencing some roadblocks in trying to convert an old, vacant building into a beautiful new performing arts center.

In Crystal Lake, we have the Raue Center. This is a gorgeous facility, but more often than not, hosts professional events with high ticket prices. While it is rented out occasionally by groups, that isn't the aim of this venue. But a venue that would be available to schools without their own stage facilities, to dance studios, sponsoring classes -- that would be a great addition to the community. A lively, energetic space, with professional-level equipment, could help train lots of kids -- and adults! -- in performance. It would give our kids a suitable place to perform after weeks and months of hard work.

Please read this week's Clinic column at the Performer's Parent website. Written by Liana Allison, who is working with the group behind the proposed Fox Performing Arts Center, it will give you more information on this great proposal and how you can support it.

The Importance of Auditioning

On Sunday, I'll publish a new Clinic column on the website (www.PerformersParent.com) about one of the hardest things for young performers -- auditioning. For those kids who really want to be in a show, the audition is the "make or break" place, but do they really know what to do and how to do it to be successful? I'm very pleased with this column -- and I think you will be too, when you finally get to see it -- because it's got lots of great info, from someone who knows all about the subject -- Ben Stoner, the Crystal Lake South director.

Auditioning has been a big deal in the Conrad household. Greg has auditioned mostly for musicals, and I've tried to help him where I can listening to him sing, offering suggestions for "acting it out." And Andy tried out for shows last year, getting in to Our Town but not the other two shows of the year. He heard from a reliable source that he hadn't prepared enough for the audition, and he's been working to correct that over the summer for the fall play. We're keeping our fingers crossed for him! He had so much fun being in Our Town, and made a lot of friends, and it would be great if he could continue to be involved. But he's got to do his part -- it's like the lottery joke -- "God, please make me a lottery winner!" And God finally replied, "Well, you have to buy a ticket first!"

I only remember one of my own auditions -- I was trying out for the part of a nun in my high school's production of Little Moon of Alban. It was memorable only because I had a hip-to-ankle cast on my left leg at the time! So much for kneeling. (I did actually get the part...)

So remember to check the website Sunday evening (and if it's not up yet, check Monday!). The information you'll learn could help your child get a part they want in an upcoming audition.

Job? What job?

As of today, I have two days left of working at the job I've held for a year and a half. I've been working for a realtor part-time -- very part-time -- and I've really been feeling that I need to put more time into Performer's Parent if I want it to succeed (and I do!). It's been interesting training my replacement -- he's a young guy, married with a baby -- but he's a musician! He plays guitar in a Christian rock band, and I hope to have some of the group's music featured here, as soon as they finish the CD they're working on.

This is of course very exciting -- but very scary, too, because my husband's been out of work since mid-May. My realtor job doesn't make much money, but it's something. To date, Performer's Parent hasn't brought in Dollar 1! I know you're all surprised at that, right? But I'm hoping to get my first advertiser tomorrow, when I go talk to the owner of a great local music store who has expressed interest in the site. I recently used a very nice Groupon and bought some marketing things -- magnetic car signs and such. Honk if you see me driving around!

Updates on the performers around me -- Greg's still playing with the Erich Kraemer Group, and they have their next gig on July 28 at Offsides in Woodstock -- if you're local, come on out! He's looking at starting piano lessons with Performer's Parent friend Mike Potts. And he is getting his own band together, with a bassist and drummer all lined up.

Andy's getting ready for junior year, and is somewhat excited about choir -- I hope that will ramp up to VERY excited, especially as they get closer to the Disney trip that the band and choir will take in the spring.

Alberto's home from Illinois State University for the summer, playing in the pit band for St. Anne's Wizard of Oz, his second year in the pit for this great group.

Dave is trying to figure out where to take his talents -- he's entering his senior year of high school in Kenosha, and his mom says he wants to do something in performance. He's got a little bit of time to figure it out. Older sister Heidi returns to Millikin for her junior year, with a theatre minor pushing her forward.

Amanda's enjoying Millikin -- she's a vocal performance major -- and looking forward to her junior year. Last year at the McHenry County Fair Talent Show, she and Greg performed an outstanding version of The Civil Wars' Barton Hollow -- I'll try to find an MP3 clip of that and post it. They took second place -- should have been first! (By the way, I have the info and registration sheet for this year's County Fair Talent Contest -- cash prizes! -- if you want the info for your performer, drop me a note and I'll send it on -- the contest is for ages 14-21.)

What's your performer doing this summer? Let me know -- drop me a line -- send me a picture! Encourage your friends to check out The Performer's Parent. If we make it to 50 members, there may be a surprise in store!

A little wine with your music?

Greg's been busking lately (and every time Kevin hears me say that, he asks, "what is busking?" That's playing out on the streets -- the mean streets of Crystal Lake, baby). Sometimes he makes enough money to make it worthwhile; sometimes he thinks he's singing to himself. This week, while he only made $2 in tips, he got a bigger reward -- an offer of a regular gig!

The owner (manager?) of the downtown CL wine bar came out, asked him to come and play in the wine bar for a while, paid him $40 to do so, then asked if he'd play every Thursday night! He's getting a regular fee and the promise of tips -- well worth the time he spent playing on the corner. If you're not busy on a Thursday, come on down -- just north of the Olympic on Williams Street.

Besides that... gee, not much going on! I'm hoping to get a couple of guest posts soon from some fellow bloggers, and why have you all not written to me and offered your experiences as the parents of performers? Here -- maybe you need some inspiration:

- What was moment you felt yourself tear up over your child's performing?
- If your child is planning on doing this for a career, what's your biggest fear for them?
- Who do you think has had the biggest impact your child's performing, and why? And it can't be you. Even if it is.

Tell me, tell me! Or show me, show me! Send your pix, your MP3 files, I love it all.

Greg Plays Tonight!

If the rain holds out... Greg's band, EKG (The Erich Kraemer Group, which, I suppose, makes this technically not GREG's band, but Erich's) plays their first paying gig tonight! We're looking forward to going, although us old fogies aren't sure we'll hold up until the band starts at 10:30! They're playing at Wayne's Lanes in Woodstock, if you're interested in coming out and helping keep us awake until the band starts (and then I'm sure there will be no sleeping, with the volume of music -- although I'll let you know if my sleep-apnea-prone husband will try to defy the odds and nod off).

It's good to hear him playing with a band again, but we're itching (and he is too) for him to form a band that will play his music, with him singing lead. Playing lead guitar has been good for him, and playing with a group of older and more experienced musicians has been too, but that's not where he wants to be. As he has always been, he wants to be out front! (ALWAYS! Andy's baby videos are frequently interrupted with "Mom, Mom, Mom!") Soon, we hope. If you have a drummer, bass or keyboard-playing child or friend (18 or over), and they're looking to be in a band that has aspirations of making it big, not just goofing around, send me their contact info and I'll pass it along. Seriously.

And the other one... Andy said last night that he won't likely be in choir in his senior year, that he's only doing it his junior year to get to go on the Disney trip, which we suspected, but I really hope that this year catches his interest more than he says it does. He did audition for Madrigals -- big surprise to all of us -- and I think he really enjoys it more than he lets on, but we'll save that for later.

Next couple of days, I'll post some videos of tonight's show (I hope).

Auditions, Part 1

School's out, summer is here! Just thinking about what the kids will be doing this summer. I realize Greg's not in the "kid" stage any more -- he has a job, and doesn't get summer break. He's planning to audition for the Williams Street Reportory this month -- they're doing Company in February, and he says that's one of his "dream" shows. That would be fun! His band, EKG (The Erich Kraemer Group) is playing their first paying gig in a little over a week -- at Wayne's Lanes on the 16th at 10 pm -- come on out!

Andy's planning to audition for South's fall play, Desperate Hours. Auditions are not to be taken lightly! I recently talked with Ben Stoner, Crystal Lake South's director, about auditioning (the interview will appear as a Clinic column some time this month -- it'll be a MUST READ!!!). Lots of work to do to prepare for these auditions!

Speaking of auditions, I get the Disney Auditions site Facebook posts -- wouldn't that be something, to perform at Disney, either in the parks or on one of the ships? It's so much fun to watch those talented performers -- in the Festival of the Lion King, or in the parades, in the show on the Castle stage. I never had the talent to make it into anything anywhere near professional -- you'd know that if you've seen me dance -- but I can certainly appreciate it!

What are your kids doing this summer? Let me know! I'd love to hear your take on summer performing activities!

Music in the News!

I'm so happy to share this piece of news -- Matt Koll, the choir teacher at Crystal Lake South, was just named Teacher of the Month by Home State Bank! Matt has had both Greg and Andy as students, and has been a terrific inspiration and guide for both of them. Greg truly feels that Matt is one of the best and most influential teachers he's had. And Andy, who had no interest in choir previously, has really started stepping up in choir, partly because he wants to live up to the standards Matt has been working to instill in him. We're all very pleased to see Matt receive this honor.

And from the Saturday, May 19 Northwest Herald's Business section, a full-page article on music teachers in McHenry County! One of the featured schools, Music Makers for Life, and its owner, Theresa Villec, is a friend of Performer's Parent, letting us put flyers out on her counter. Great article! Here's the link to that article!

Battle of the Bands -- Proudest Mom Moments

Check out this week's Clinic column with tips for competing in a Battle of the Bands -- Greg and I put this one together. It's that season, when groups of high schoolers drive their parents crazy with garage band practice. We've been through this -- and it was wonderful!

In 2009, Greg and The Con Men -- the new, expanded group with the added horn section -- participated in several Battles. They competed in and won the Crystal Lake event, scoring way above their competitors. They won some great prizes, including several hours of recording time! That was very exciting for the guys -- they quickly had big plans. Then they moved on to the Regional event, which was scheduled for August.

The night before Regionals, they played at a Battle in Woodstock -- not a Park District competition. Out of 8 bands, they didn't even place! All of us parents were incredulous -- how could they not have taken at least 3rd, when they sounded SO much better than any of the other bands (at least we thought so)? One of the bands that DID place, though, was playing at the Regional event the next day also -- and I think the combination of the loss and the rematch spurred them on to work harder and play better the next day.

And that day -- was HOT! And the performance was outside, at a water park. And the Con Men were scheduled to play LAST! But believe me, they were fantastic. What a moment for us parents to watch the judges bopping along with Soul Man and Nothing Wrong, in a way they didn't for any other band. From their opening introduction -- "The neighbors hate us, the cops love us" -- to the winner announcement -- "You waited five hours to hear them!", we knew -- they had regained their mojo, they were once again the best band standing.

And two weeks later, playing against the winners of all the Illinois regional events, once again, they took first (to see videos of all their songs from State, check out www.youtube.com/TheConMenBand). We screamed, we cried, we tried to keep the drunk guy away from the stage. We wore our Con Men shirts, the boys hoisted the banner we had made for them -- and while I've had many moments that I was proud of my boy and his achievements, that was certainly in the top five.

Rungs on the ladder

When Greg told us in November that he didn't plan to return to Columbia College for this 2nd semester, we frankly weren't too surprised. I think he's had a hard time focusing on what aspect of performance he wanted to concentrate on -- this has been an ongoing struggle for him, as he has interests and talents in several directions (what is the saying, ... of all, master of none? I know I'm missing a word here -- what is it?)

In December, I took him to lunch downtown and we talked about setting goals, determining realistic steps toward those goals, and evaluating progress. I finally feel (four months later) like he's getting there. In the past month, he's gotten a job he enjoys, been playing as the lead guitarist in a quasi-established band (they've been playing together for many years, but under different names), and looked at the possibility of taking lessons. He's been contacting artists he admires, at the suggestion of a former guitar teacher, and one of them, Mike Milligan of Mike Milligan and Steam Shovel (www.MikeMilligan.homestead.com), invited him to come to their show at House of Blues last weekend. He and Kevin went. Mike spent most of the first break talking to Greg, then asked him to come on stage to sing and play with them! That was quite a leap of faith -- he didn't know Greg's ability, and it's a good thing Greg doesn't suck at singing or playing! He actually played and sang two songs with them, and Mike even passed along the name and phone number of the HoB booking agent! So there's a big rung on the ladder that Greg is trying to climb. (Kevin videotaped the whole thing on Greg's phone, but we found that it plays sideways, and when he tries to turn it the right way, there's no sound. Or I'd post it for you, but don't want to give you a neck problem.)

I'm climbing rungs on my personal ladder, as well! The website is going well, and we're even getting requests from teachers, shops and programs to be listed! I've got two goals that I really need to work on -- getting advertising and getting more expert-written Clinic columns -- but due to a seasonal job, I just haven't had the time. If you know anyone that you think would be great to write a column, either pass their contact info along to me or ask them to take a look at the site and think about it. I would really appreciate your help.

I'd love to hear about the "rungs" your kids have climbed in their performing lives. Write a guest post! Send me a picture or an mp3 clip! I've posted a new sound clip -- Greg's friend Connor has put together a band at Northern called Bowling Night. Check out this tune -- I think it's terrific!

It Just Doesn't Fit!

This week's Clinic column is the first in a series about finding the right "fit" of a college to your kid. Like in any other program, not just performing arts, the feel, look, and other intangibles come into play when your child is looking at colleges. When Greg and I looked at colleges, first for jazz and then for musical theatre, there were times when we agreed -- both that this one was a good fit and this one wasn't -- and when we disagreed. It took me some tongue-biting, but I had to really work at reminding myself that this was his life and his choice.

The ones we really agreed on that would be good fits -- DePaul and Western Michigan, primarily -- felt good for different reasons. DePaul had the allure of the big city, something that both of us are drawn to (is it genetic?), the teacher that Greg really respected, the prestige of the program. Western Michigan just felt good -- they had exciting classes and trips, the enthusiasm of the professors and students was real and contagious. And when we found schools that were not good fits, it was obvious pretty quickly. The students we met didn't exude friendliness or professionalism. The professors were either unavailable for questions or dismissive. Neither of those contacts (or lack of) left us with a good feeling.

I have one more child to go through the college-search process with. While we won't be looking for a performing arts school, I think the things I learned with Greg will really help me with Andy -- despite the fact that he'll be looking for things that are probably polar opposites than items that were on Greg's checklist. But I think I can help him feel those intangibles and not just look at the numbers, the classes, the buildings or the distance from home.

Practice, Practice, Practice!

There's a new Clinic column over on the website -- Terry Guynes, band director at Lundahl Middle School, passed along an article he had written on practice tips. While it specifically addresses tips for instrumentalists (he is a BAND director, after all), there's no reason that most of those tips couldn't be applied to dancers, actors, singers -- even athletes! Practice with a friend. Pick a goal -- being able to do something specific better than you could before. Learn timing, breathing, intonation. Practice with a pro -- maybe on a video, or on a CD. Lots of good suggestions! Check it out!

Greg had Mr. Guynes as a band teacher in 7th and 8th grade, both for regular band and jazz. Terry is fun to watch as he conducts -- he practically dances on stage, and his enthusiasm for teaching is obvious. When Greg was in 5th grade, playing clarinet (at the time, you couldn't start on sax, you had to start on clarinet and switch before middle school) and hating it, but loving music, I had quite a dilemma -- he didn't practice, didn't want to play clarinet, but he really wanted me to spend more money to rent a saxophone so he could switch. Given what I saw, though, would it be worth it? Or should I just tell him that, too bad, you didn't show me that you were committed to doing this, so no sax?

I ran into Terry while he was at the elementary school testing the incoming 5th graders for instrument selection. I told him what was going on, and his reply really made an impact on me -- he said that he'd rather have a kid in band who loved music and didn't practice, than a kid whose parents forced him to practice and stay in band even though the kid had no interest. Knowing Greg fell in the first category, he got his sax, stayed in band -- and his love of music grew from there. Once in a while, I think about what would have happened had I insisted he drop band -- he hadn't really started playing guitar at that point -- would he have? Would music be so vitally important to him now? I don't know. (Would he be going into a more stable and lucrative profession right now? I don't know that either.) I think I made the right choice.

Several years later, talking with a friend whose high school son wanted to drop band, I told her about this short conversation with Terry. Her son had some ability, but really hated being in band. She was insisting that he stay and develop his talent, a move that I really felt was a mistake. Every parent makes their own decisions, I realize, but it was hard for me to see that student forced to continue doing something he didn't enjoy (when it comes to math or science or English classes, obviously it's a different situation).

So, Terry, thank you -- for today's column and for that short piece of advice that had a big impact on Greg's music career!

Growing Pains

I've been percolating the Performer's Parent idea for a couple of years. I discussed it with a few friends, who encouraged me to get it going, and when I finally did, I thought, "Oh good, now I can sit back for a little bit..." Nope. With the exit of my friend Sheri, who got the website up and running, I had a panicky few moments and then thought, I can do this! So I found a new way to manage the website, and I'm pretty pleased with it -- I invite you to check out the "relaunch" of Performer'sParent.com! I'm playing with some of the things that go on the site, so please -- take a look and give me your thoughts.

We went to see The Drowsy Chaperone at Crystal Lake South last weekend -- as always, the South students did a FABULOUS job. I've seen several of these students in quite a few shows, and it's great to see how they've grown as singers, dancers and actors! It'll be exciting to find out where they're planning to go from here -- I know that several of them are planning to make performing a part of their college experience, whether it's as a major and career, or as a very important extracurricular activity.

I wanted to try something new in this blog today -- here's a track from The Con Men, one of the very first that they ever did (and honestly, one of my faves), called Walking Away. This was written maybe four years ago, and performed originally just by Greg and his friend Connor Bernhard. 03 Walking Away

Sorry about all the random stuff today. I'm trying to figure out a bunch of things both here and on the new website. Soon, I hope to have a way for you to "join" Performers Parent, which will help me find out if the content I'm providing is on track for your needs or if it needs to be tweaked in some way. I'm working on getting some great columnists to write the Clinic column. I'm still playing with the formats of both sites. And, I have a cold. So please excuse the scattershot approach today!

And one last thing -- if you have something you'd like to share as a guest blogger, send it to me! I'd love to post an experience you had with your performing child, a moment that made you smile or worry, or anything else you'd like to talk about. This blog isn't just for me -- it would be great to have you make it your own, as well.

Nothing is Ever Easy...

With the help of a community of friends and family, the website, performersparent.com, is just about ready to debut! It's been up and available, in a rough format, for a couple of  weeks. I've been learning so much as I go through this process! Mostly, I've been learning  how much I'm leaning on people who know a lot more than I do.

Starting this coming weekend, I've put ads in a couple of local high schools' musical performance programs, introducing the website to (what I hope will be large groups of) parents who could use this service. I made a new logo, taught myself the beginnings of HTML, panicked more than a little, hoped for bad weather at O'Hare (not really, Sheri -- I hope you had a great time on your cruise!), wondered why my brother had to move THIS weekend...

And I want to give a BIG thank you to Kyle, who stepped in at next-to-the-last-minute with a welcome offer of help. (And to Andy as well -- he offered his time and assistance,  but I was already working with Kyle -- the hour's difference between here and the Eastern Time Zone was helpful).

I really hope that the website will save some other parents a few steps. Check the site out after Wednesday, and let me know what you think! This is definitely a work in progress -- I know there are lots more colleges out there that I haven't gotten to yet, many more summer programs, and lots of great teachers I haven't yet included.

In other news... Greg is now the lead guitarist for an established McHenry County band, EKG. We're looking forward to hearing them soon! And we've discovered a great medical practice for vocalists, The Bastien Group in Downers Grove, which will get on the website soon.


The Drowsy Chaperone, Crystal Lake South's musical, opens this Thursday (hence the panic and time crunch) and runs this weekend and next -- go see it! South's musicals have always been first-rate, and I expect that this one will be too. I'm hoping to go see a couple of the other District 155 musicals (Pirates of Penzance at PR, March 2-10; Urinetown at Central, March 9-17, Anything Goes at Central, March 16-18).

I think I'll let my carpal tunnel rest for a while... hope to hear from you!

Music -- It's not just "one more thing"

I'm sure a lot of you have kids who are involved in many activities -- many that are not performance-oriented -- and you sometimes think, "I just can't do one more thing." And then Junior wants to learn another instrument, audition for a show, join choir... But music isn't "just one more thing" to shoehorn into an already-busy schedule! And I know you know that. But it can be hard to keep sight of that in an over-busy life -- your child's, your family's, and your own personal life!

School Band and Orchestra magazine, which goes out to teachers, published an open letter to parents last year about the value of musical instruction. The letter, which you can see at http://www.sbomagazine.com/8190/featured/sbo-guest-editorial-an-open-letter-to-parents/#comment-3321, makes several good arguments about music's importance in a child's life. Better test scores, leadership training, learning to work cooperatively -- and having fun! -- are some of the benefits. I know we've seen this in our family for Greg, and hope that Andy reaps some of these benefits as he starts his first musical activity.

Every time Greg tells me he's decided to take up another instrument -- and another, and another -- I roll my eyes (tenor sax, guitar, bass, clarinet, bass clarinet, flute, harmonica, keyboard, and the latest is drums). But I know that it keeps him fresh and interested, gives him a better understanding of music theory, opens up doors to new performance opportunities (he hasn't had any formal piano training, but plays well enough to be asked to play piano for an improv company; he played sax, guitar and clarinet in a musical's pit band over the summer); and widens his repertoire. 

Read the letter! You may learn something about the value of musical instruction that you didn't already know. And maybe it will help you to support your child when they want to add "one more thing."

Supporting your young performers -- it's more than just you!

I'm a cheerleader, a financier, a chauffeur, a teacher, an audience... I'm the parent of performers. You are too, all of those, I'm sure! And I'm happy to do it. I enjoy the results, I love hearing the singing around the house, I even (and don't tell Greg) sort of get a kick out of the drums.

And I sincerely appreciate the other supporters my performers -- and yours -- have. The teachers they have had have all been terrific, encouraging people (Ben, Kristina, Matt, Chris - hope you're all reading this!). I'm grateful for the opportunities they've provided to all of the kids in their programs, from setting up extra concert opportunities, planning Broadway in Chicago nights, finding outside experts to do workshops and clinics.

This weekend is one of those excellent opportunities -- it's Theatre Fest, held yearly, for Illinois drama students, and this year it's at Illinois State University. High school drama students from around Illinois will have the chance to see performances by other high school students, attend workshops, and have the opportunity to audition for college program reps. The big news for our high school this year is that our wonderful director, Ben Stoner, was selected to direct the All-State show (Almost, Maine), which features the talents of outstanding students from all over the state. I wish we all had the chance to see this! (And I want pictures from Theatre Fest!)

So, you parent cheerleaders, give a cheer to the teachers and coaches that also work with your performer. While we, as parents, are (hopefully, because I know there are kids out there who don't have parental support) the first and best supporters, our kids have a better chance of success and enjoyment if they have lots of excellent support outside of the home as well. Thank you to all of them!