It Just Doesn't Fit!

This week's Clinic column is the first in a series about finding the right "fit" of a college to your kid. Like in any other program, not just performing arts, the feel, look, and other intangibles come into play when your child is looking at colleges. When Greg and I looked at colleges, first for jazz and then for musical theatre, there were times when we agreed -- both that this one was a good fit and this one wasn't -- and when we disagreed. It took me some tongue-biting, but I had to really work at reminding myself that this was his life and his choice.

The ones we really agreed on that would be good fits -- DePaul and Western Michigan, primarily -- felt good for different reasons. DePaul had the allure of the big city, something that both of us are drawn to (is it genetic?), the teacher that Greg really respected, the prestige of the program. Western Michigan just felt good -- they had exciting classes and trips, the enthusiasm of the professors and students was real and contagious. And when we found schools that were not good fits, it was obvious pretty quickly. The students we met didn't exude friendliness or professionalism. The professors were either unavailable for questions or dismissive. Neither of those contacts (or lack of) left us with a good feeling.

I have one more child to go through the college-search process with. While we won't be looking for a performing arts school, I think the things I learned with Greg will really help me with Andy -- despite the fact that he'll be looking for things that are probably polar opposites than items that were on Greg's checklist. But I think I can help him feel those intangibles and not just look at the numbers, the classes, the buildings or the distance from home.

Practice, Practice, Practice!

There's a new Clinic column over on the website -- Terry Guynes, band director at Lundahl Middle School, passed along an article he had written on practice tips. While it specifically addresses tips for instrumentalists (he is a BAND director, after all), there's no reason that most of those tips couldn't be applied to dancers, actors, singers -- even athletes! Practice with a friend. Pick a goal -- being able to do something specific better than you could before. Learn timing, breathing, intonation. Practice with a pro -- maybe on a video, or on a CD. Lots of good suggestions! Check it out!

Greg had Mr. Guynes as a band teacher in 7th and 8th grade, both for regular band and jazz. Terry is fun to watch as he conducts -- he practically dances on stage, and his enthusiasm for teaching is obvious. When Greg was in 5th grade, playing clarinet (at the time, you couldn't start on sax, you had to start on clarinet and switch before middle school) and hating it, but loving music, I had quite a dilemma -- he didn't practice, didn't want to play clarinet, but he really wanted me to spend more money to rent a saxophone so he could switch. Given what I saw, though, would it be worth it? Or should I just tell him that, too bad, you didn't show me that you were committed to doing this, so no sax?

I ran into Terry while he was at the elementary school testing the incoming 5th graders for instrument selection. I told him what was going on, and his reply really made an impact on me -- he said that he'd rather have a kid in band who loved music and didn't practice, than a kid whose parents forced him to practice and stay in band even though the kid had no interest. Knowing Greg fell in the first category, he got his sax, stayed in band -- and his love of music grew from there. Once in a while, I think about what would have happened had I insisted he drop band -- he hadn't really started playing guitar at that point -- would he have? Would music be so vitally important to him now? I don't know. (Would he be going into a more stable and lucrative profession right now? I don't know that either.) I think I made the right choice.

Several years later, talking with a friend whose high school son wanted to drop band, I told her about this short conversation with Terry. Her son had some ability, but really hated being in band. She was insisting that he stay and develop his talent, a move that I really felt was a mistake. Every parent makes their own decisions, I realize, but it was hard for me to see that student forced to continue doing something he didn't enjoy (when it comes to math or science or English classes, obviously it's a different situation).

So, Terry, thank you -- for today's column and for that short piece of advice that had a big impact on Greg's music career!

Growing Pains

I've been percolating the Performer's Parent idea for a couple of years. I discussed it with a few friends, who encouraged me to get it going, and when I finally did, I thought, "Oh good, now I can sit back for a little bit..." Nope. With the exit of my friend Sheri, who got the website up and running, I had a panicky few moments and then thought, I can do this! So I found a new way to manage the website, and I'm pretty pleased with it -- I invite you to check out the "relaunch" of Performer'sParent.com! I'm playing with some of the things that go on the site, so please -- take a look and give me your thoughts.

We went to see The Drowsy Chaperone at Crystal Lake South last weekend -- as always, the South students did a FABULOUS job. I've seen several of these students in quite a few shows, and it's great to see how they've grown as singers, dancers and actors! It'll be exciting to find out where they're planning to go from here -- I know that several of them are planning to make performing a part of their college experience, whether it's as a major and career, or as a very important extracurricular activity.

I wanted to try something new in this blog today -- here's a track from The Con Men, one of the very first that they ever did (and honestly, one of my faves), called Walking Away. This was written maybe four years ago, and performed originally just by Greg and his friend Connor Bernhard. 03 Walking Away

Sorry about all the random stuff today. I'm trying to figure out a bunch of things both here and on the new website. Soon, I hope to have a way for you to "join" Performers Parent, which will help me find out if the content I'm providing is on track for your needs or if it needs to be tweaked in some way. I'm working on getting some great columnists to write the Clinic column. I'm still playing with the formats of both sites. And, I have a cold. So please excuse the scattershot approach today!

And one last thing -- if you have something you'd like to share as a guest blogger, send it to me! I'd love to post an experience you had with your performing child, a moment that made you smile or worry, or anything else you'd like to talk about. This blog isn't just for me -- it would be great to have you make it your own, as well.